Invasion of the Gnomes
by Blitzwing
Summary: *One-shot* Vegeta discovers one of the more annoying parts of human culture. I hate Lawn gnomes.


Note: My pen name is changed to just Blitzwing now, but I'm still going to use LAB for intro notes.   
  
LAB: The other day I was browsing through some old one shot stories and one small section really made me laugh and gave me an idea.  
  
Vegeta: So you steal ideas now, you are pitiful.  
  
LAB: It would be stealing if it was a full story that inspired me and not only a couple of lines. Also don't call me pitiful, at least my race wasn't destroyed by the Ice jins!  
  
Vegeta: How dare you insult the Saiya jin race! You will die!  
  
LAB: Bring it on! *both LAB and Vegeta charge each other as a black curtain suddenly drops into view*  
  
Goten:*after walking out* Due the the excessive amounts of profanity and utterly stupid moves made by LAB during his fights we have decided to censor this fight.  
  
Chi chi: My little boy is learning so much, look at all the big words he used.  
  
*The curtain suddenly falls down to reveal LAB and Vegeta fighting using toy transformers and DBZ action figures*  
  
Everyone watching: Haw Haw!  
  
()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()  
  
It had only been a couple of months since the events on Namek. Vegeta had been staying around Capsule Corp, waiting rather impatiently for Dr. Briefs to build a new Capsule space pod for him to train in since he had demolished the previous one. Many of the Nameks were still hanging around CC waiting for the dragonballs to become active again. One day Bulma was watching television while taking a break from working in her lab, which she had been doing for the past two days almost, when she came to a rather amusing news story.  
"The latest trend in lawn ornaments is Lawn Gnomes" The news caster said, "For some reason people seem to be buying them by the dozen and setting them up on lawns, decks, patios and gardens, We spotted Mrs. Briefs coming out of a store and managed to ask her why she seemed to be buying a full truck load of them"  
"Oh dear god" Bulma said, "She didn't"  
"Oh I just had to get them, they're so adorable!" Mrs. Briefs said in her usual cheery tone.  
"I've been in the lab far too long" Bulma said, walking over to a window. Bulma screamed as she looked out on the lawn and saw thousands of tiny lawn gnomes all around the CC lawn.   
  
Vegeta vs The Lawn Gnomes!  
  
"Damnit that woman is too loud!" Vegeta said, storming out of the training centre where he spent days on end, only emerging to eat or to sleep, "What the HFIL is going on! Who are you!"  
Vegeta had walked out to find himself surrounded by grinning little statues with funny hats and red shiny cheeks. He grew rather angry when the inanimate objects didn't respond.  
"Answer me!" Vegeta demanded, holding his fist up.  
Again the little statues just sat there doing nothing, and that just further infuriated Vegeta.  
"I see what is going on here! You're invading the planet and you didn't expect to meet the prince of all saiya jins here so you're scared stiff!" Vegeta scoffed, forming a small ki ball in his hand and throwing it at one of them, "I think I'll send you all to the next dimension just for fun!"  
The gnome shattered as soon as the ball touched it. Vegeta smirked and floated into the air. He started shooting Ki balls all over the CC lawns, destroying not only the gnomes but most to the lawn and Mrs. Briefs gardens. A single gnome survived the attack and was sent flying by one of the blasts. It struck Vegeta in the head then fell to the earth.  
"You dare attack me! You will perish!" Vegeta screamed, forming a ball of energy, "Gallic Gun!"  
The beam shot down to earth and annihilated the gnome and left a large crater in the ground. Vegeta laughed to himself then took off flying towards the city.  
"Theres probably more of them, I'll show them all the wrath of Prince Vegeta!" Vegeta exclaimed as he flew.  
Back at CC the ruckus outside drew Bulma, her Mother and most of the Nameks out.  
"What the HFIL was he doing!" Bulma exclaimed.  
"He destroyed all my cute little gnomes!" Mrs. Briefs cried, "And my beautiful gardens!"  
"We can help you to replant your gardens!" Elder Mori said, puffing out his chest and waving forward, "Nameks! Let's get to work!"   
"Where did that lunkhead go!" Bulma said, decapsulating a jet and taking off.   
Not long after take off Bulma found a trail of destroyed properties to follow.  
  
"My lawn gnomes are better than yours!" A little boy yelled to the neighbor girl while sticking his tounge out.  
"Nu uh! Mine are Super gnomes!" The little girl said holding one up in the air. Out of the sky a small yellow beam shot right through the gnomes head between its' little painted eyes. The little girl screamed and dropped the gnome as several energy blasts impacted on the ground around her, destroying all the other gnomes. Vegeta floated down as both the boy and girl ran off screaming. Out of the corner of his eye he spotted another gnome partially hidden in a garden.  
"Freeze! You will be my prisoner!" Vegeta exclaimed, grabbing it and squeezing it until it broke, "Such feeble creatures, how could they think they had a chance!"  
Vegeta took off again and entered the commercial areas of the city. He spotted a store with dozens of gnomes sitting out front and he swooped down. People on the streets stopped and stared at the flying man.  
"A stronghold! I will destroy it and force any survivors to reveal the location of their headquarters to me!" Vegeta said, forming another Ki ball in his hands, "Gallic Gun!"  
In less than a second the store disappeared from the face of the earth. A single gnome and the shop keeper were the only things still in the crater as Vegeta touched down.  
"Tell me where your headquarters is before I blast you!" Vegeta demanded to the gnome.   
"The factory where we get em is over in the 440 mountain area! Please don't hurt me!" The shop keeper yelled, covering his head thinking Vegeta was talking to him.  
"Smart move, Good bye!" Vegeta said, stomping on the gnome then flying off.   
"Mommy!" The shopkeeper screamed while running off.  
  
Meanwhile Bulma was still following the path of 'dead' gnomes but it went dry when she reached the destroyed shop. She hovered in mid air and turned the news back on.  
"Reports are coming in of a crazed man attacking anyone who owns lawn gnomes. Witnesses report the man talking to the gnomes as if they were alive and then using some sort of weapon to blow them up. He was last reported to be heading in the direction of the 440 mountain area where the factory that produces the lawn gnomes is located. Workers at the factory are reportedly preparing to defend their jobs from the crazed man." The newscaster said, making Bulma slap her forehead.  
"What the hell is he thinking!" Bulma yelled, kicking the jet into full throttle and following Vegeta's trail.  
  
Vegeta was almost at the factory and flying over the 439 mountain area when Gohan suddenly appeared beside him.  
"Hey Vegeta, what are you doing out here?" Gohan asked.  
"Don't get in my way Brat, I'm saving this pathetic mudball from an invasion of tiny men" Vegeta growled.  
"I didn't hear anything or see anything" Gohan said.  
"They attacked me at the womans home and I've been chasing them all over the city, now I'm going to take out their headquarters" Vegeta said, "Don't get in my way!"  
"I want to help! Until my dad gets back I have to help protect Earth too!" Gohan said.   
"Bah! I don't need help!" Vegeta snapped.  
"Is that the headquarters?" Gohan asked pointing to a building with a huge gnome on the roof.  
"That must be their leader!" Vegeta said flying over and landing.  
"That's him!" One of the employees yelled, "Get him!"  
All of a sudden a barrage of lawn gnomes came flying from behind makeshift barricades erected by the factory employees. Both Vegeta and Gohan started blasting the gnomes but the occasional gnome would hit either of them in the head or other part of the body.   
"Where did these things come from!" Gohan cried as a gnome nailed him in the head, "Ow!"  
"I don't know! but I'm going to destroy them all!" Vegeta yelled, throwing Ki balls every which way.  
"Keep it up boys! They gotta run out of ammo sooner or later!" Another worker yelled.  
"They've taken humans as slaves!" Gohan exclaimed, "Those monsters!"  
"I'm going for the leader, use that pitiful Masenko or what ever you call it to destroy the headquarters!" Vegeta ordered, making a run for the huge gnome on top of the factory.  
"You got it!" Gohan said, getting struck in the head by another gnome, "Ow!"  
"Face me in battle coward!" Vegeta challenged the statue, which just sat there smiling.  
"This will be too easy" Vegeta chuckled to himself, "Gallic Gun!"  
Vegeta shot his beam into the statue, which exploded into a million pieces and showered all the employees with debris.  
"Holy crap! he doesn't have a gun! Run for your lives!" An employee yelled, spurring a rush of evacuating employees.  
"You did it Vegeta! The slaves are free, I'll take out the headquarters!" Gohan exclaimed, charging his own attack, "Masenko......HA!"  
Gohans orange beam shot into the factory and caused it to first explode in a ball of flame then collapse in on itself. Gohan cheered their victory while Vegeta just grunted.  
"I didn't need help" Vegeta mumbled.  
"Come on, you had fun" Gohan teased, "I'm going home before my mom kills me"  
"Bah, they were too weak to make good sport" Vegeta spat, turning and heading back towards CC. Around halfway there he ran into Bulmas' jet and a confrontation between the two occurred.  
"Vegeta!" Bulma yelled, "What the HFIL were you doing!"  
"Saving this pathetic mudball from an invasion, you should be thanking me" Vegeta said in a cocky manner.  
"From what! I bunch of lawn gnomes?" Bulma asked frustrated.  
"Yes, now I'm going to train, good bye" Vegeta said taking off faster than Bulma could chase.  
"That idiot!" Bulma fumed, starting on her way home.  
  
Vegeta arrived back at CC and paled at what he saw. The lawns and gardens had been completely restored by the Nameks, and no gnomes were present. Instead they had been replaced by thousands of pink plastic flamingos. CC was engulfed in a sea of pink.  
"I hate this planet!" Vegeta yelled, charging another blast, "Gallic Gun!"  
  
LAB: Due to the fact my army of transformer toys lost the war, I am being forced to sing the following praise of the great Prince Vegeta.  
  
Vegeta is good,  
Vegeta is great,  
Why don't all you ladies,  
Bake Vegeta a cake.  
  
Vegeta: No chocolate! And not Mousse cakes! *Whips Goku action figure at LAB's head*  
  
LAB: Ow! Hey! these have lead weights! no wonder they wouldn't fall over! You cheated!  
*Tackles Vegeta and both start brawling*


End file.
